


Let Me Go

by PerfectPurgatory



Category: Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015)
Genre: Anidala Parallels, Author Regrets Writing This, Episode III Parallels, F/M, Force Choking, Golden Sith Eyes, Kylo Ren is Drugged, Rey is Upset, author sucks at summaries
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-03-25
Updated: 2017-03-25
Packaged: 2018-10-10 06:46:12
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,647
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10431501
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PerfectPurgatory/pseuds/PerfectPurgatory
Summary: Kylo Ren escapes from the Resistance facility only to find a distraught Rey. Will he go back with her, or will he turn around and leave her?





	

Sirens were blaring. The base was littered with bodies, and Rey was right in the middle of it. The notorious enemy of the Resistance had been captured and was being held on D’Qar until a more suitable location could be found, but it didn’t take long for him to escape. Now, he was frantically searching for a way off the base, and she as frantically searching for him. Running into the hangar and seeing only death and destruction, she noticed a dark, wobbly figure in the distance heading towards Han’s ship. She could only hope that Finn and Poe were elsewhere. They didn’t need to be heroes. Not when she was the only one who had a connection with the villain.

“Kylo!” She practically screamed at him when she got halfway through the hangar.

He immediately went still, but almost as quickly started to walk, rather, strain to walk, again. It was clear that he wasn’t stopping for anyone. But then again, she wasn’t just anyone. She easily caught up to him, seeing as the drugs hadn’t fully left his system yet. 

“Kylo, stop!” She was almost in tears. How could he do something like this? When he knew how she felt? Once again, he kept lumbering along like he hadn’t heard a thing. As a last-ditch effort, Rey put all of her feeling into her words. “Please, talk to me!”

At that, he stopped. After a moment of contemplation at her plea, he turned around, only to reveal the face of an infuriated, but disoriented man.

“Leave me alone!” He screamed, with spit flying. Looking at his eyes, they were a dark gold color instead of the brown that she was used to.

“You don’t have to do this.” At this, he laughed. It unnerved her.

“I’ve already done it. You can’t stop me. No one can.” He wore a twisted smile on his face. How could she love such a monster?

“No, you can still come back with me. We can help you,” He cut her off.

“Oh, so what? You want me to come willingly, like I apparently did the first time? You betrayed me.” His voice cracked at the last sentence and he straightened his back like he was alerted to something. Looking down at the ground, his bottom lip quivered ever so slightly. Just like it had back in the interrogation room on Starkiller.

“You wouldn’t listen to me. You were irrational.” Rey was shaking her head, trying to find the words to make him understand.  
“You don’t know the half of it.” His head immediately shot up and his eyes bored into hers. Their inhuman color frightened her even more. “I was irrational because you were in my head.”

“No, I never tried to do that again, you know I didn’t,” she said as she took a step towards him. He immediately took one large step backwards.  
“Stay away, Rey.” It seemed more of a defensive warning than an offensive threat. “You don’t understand. You were in my head. That japor snippet you found and tried to carve for me to match my grandmother’s necklace? I never took it off my neck.” He subconsciously reached for his neck. They had taken every personal possession he had when they captured him. During his moment of contemplation, his eyes momentarily turned back to the brown she was used to. “Sometimes, when I’m asleep, I dream of you. I can’t get you out of my head!” He turned around and looked like he wanted to punch a wall. Finding no wall to punch, he settled for placing his closed fists at his side. He slowly turned back around, his eyes shone even more golden than before. There was a crazed look in his eye, and, had Rey not known him, she would have taken a step backwards at the sight. Instead, she stood her ground. This only encouraged him more.

“Fight me, scavenger!” The use of that nickname stung like her heart had been clawed by a Rancor.

“I’m not going to fight you, Kylo.” Shaking her head, she was closer to tears than she had been earlier.

“I said, fight me!” He yelled as forcefully as he could. Veins popped out of his neck and spit flew from his mouth.

“With what weapon? Kylo, you’re disoriented, and I’m the only one with a weapon. I’m not going to fight you!” He was only making her angrier. If this was his way of distancing them, it was working.

“Figures. You won’t fight them on behalf of me, but you won’t fight me yourself.” Before all of this had happened, he had a little hope that one day, he could have what his grandfather had. A family, something to call his own. But that hope vanished the moment Rey drugged him in his sleep and handed him over to the Resistance. After staring at her for what felt like minutes, he turned around and started towards the Millennium Falcon once again.

“Kylo, don’t do this!” He was beyond the point of caring. “Kylo, I love you!”

That spiked his rage even more. Spinning around so fast he wavered on the edge of falling, he rushed up to her and put his finger in her face. What love he had for her gave way to rage. Not being able to find the words to express what he was feeling, he backed down only to come back at her again. They stood there, his face in hers for a few moments before his face sobered up and he looked at her more softly than he had before.

“If you love me, let me go.” It came out more gently than he intended it to. This thoroughly confused her. For her, that wasn’t even on the table, let alone a viable option.

“What?” Her face betrayed her emotions.

“If you love me, Rey, let me go. There’s nothing left for you to save.” She realized he was pleading with her, begging her to just let him escape.

“There’s still time, I can still help you. You’re not beyond saving!” She was pleading with him as well. 

“Rey,” he chuckled softly. His softness was a drastic turn from what he was displaying only moments before. For a second, Rey thought he would brush her jaw with the back of his hand. “You can’t save what isn’t there. How can you expect me to destroy who I am to save you, when you sold me out to save your own reputation?”

“I did it to help you!” And with that, his demeanor was back to one of absolute and utter anger.

“Liar!” He started pacing, staring at her, and then the ground, and then back at her. With every passing moment, he was growing steadier and steadier on his feet. She didn’t have much time to sway him. 

“You can overcome this!” She was still desperately trying to perpetuate that lie.

“No, I can’t! Even if I could, I don’t want to!” That revelation made Rey’s eyes go wide with disbelief. “So run, Rey. Run back to your little rebellion. The traitors you call friends will welcome you back, just like you hoped. But you’ll do it at the cost of me.”

Tears were threatening to spill over her eyes. 

“You’re all the same. You turn your back on those who couldn’t live without you just so you could save your own neck.” It wasn’t clear if he was still talking about Rey, or about someone else from his past. “Pity me, Rey. Pity me all you want to. But I know your game. You want control, you don’t want love!” Tears seemed to be threatening him as well. He put his hand up, his strength returning to him. Rey started to choke on the air she was trying to breathe. “You wouldn’t change for me, so why should I change for you! You couldn’t learn to hate enough, Rey. That was your problem. You wouldn’t embrace the hate enough to truly love me!”  
Through ragged intakes of breath, Rey managed, “Kylo, no!” His eyes flashing pure gold for a second, his face was filled with the determination of a murderer. Rey had forgotten that he was one.

Seeming to realize the weight of what he was doing, he dropped his hold on her and staggered backwards, as if he had just regained control of himself.   
“I can’t do it.” He was talking more to himself than to her. Eyes snapping back to hers, he started walking backwards. “This is for the best. Let me go, Rey.”  
She couldn’t find it in herself to argue with him anymore. She let him continue walking backwards until he came back to back with his father’s ship. 

“You never needed my help!” He yelled back at her from the Falcon’s ramp. “You were fine on your own.” After seeing the glint of a tear on her face, he vanished into the beast of a ship. 

He hoped he never heard from her again. He didn’t want to know if she still cared about him, he didn’t want to hear any more pitiful displays of affection. He didn’t care anymore, and that was clear enough to her. After jumping into hyperspace, he put his hand in his shirt and pulled out the japor snippet. He could find it, but not his lightsaber, and it would have to do. He pressed his lips to it as he sat back in the captain’s chair. He wished he didn’t love her, that much was sure. Maybe then, he could have choked her to death right then and there. But that was never an option, and he knew it. Ever since he met the scavenger on Takodana, he was drawn to her, and despite what he had told her, nothing had changed. Although, he desperately wished it had.


End file.
